That Was The Year That Was

I knew 2005 was going to be an eventful year; all being well my MBA studies would come to an end and I was looking to move to a different part of London at some point in the summer. Following this, the autumn was going to be a time for readjusting and relaxing - little did I know.

The year has had some great moments; a wonderful skiing holiday, going to a FA cup semi final, graduating with an MBA, moving flat, and going to the first day of the Ashes Test Match at the Oval. I’ve built upon some new friendships and also caught up with some older ones. However, much has been overshadowed by my father’s sudden death - never an easy event and one which left a lot of emotional and practical issues to deal with. For the summer and autumn my life got put on hold - the vague plans I had quickly ignored.

I still remember clearly where I was when I got the phone call; the numbness which struck and then having to make phone calls to the wider family. Arrangements had to be made, solicitors dealt with, numerous things to sort out over a period of months. However, even amongst such a time of sorrow, there have been precious moments to savour. I’ve spent more time with friends and family than I would normally. I received several cards and notes from people, all of which were invaluable and for which I thank you. 2005 had both low and high moments - and it’s important that the highs are equally remembered.

As for 2006? Just like a model in the swimsuit round of a beauty pageant (now there’s a nice mental image for you!) I wish for world peace and an end to hunger. I guess I have similar aims to others - eat better, exercise more etc. Interestingly, for the year ahead I have few plans - I’m not studying and I don’t intend to move job or flat. I want to get to know where I live a bit better, become more comfortable with myself, become more relaxed. Who knows where this might lead and what might happen? The year could contain some adventure, perhaps excitement, learning a new skill, finally commencing writing that sitcom set in a shopping centre, may be even romance, who knows? For me the key will be to be open to whatever happens.

So as 2005 draws to a close, wherever you are, and whoever you see the New Year in with, I hope that you remember the highs as well as the lows. Hold on to the good times and learn from the not so good. I hope you look forward to the coming year and I wish you a very happy 2006.

Random Christmas thoughts

A few things I’ve noticed over the Christmas period;
….revenge of the turkey - I’ve managed to avoid turkey at Christmas for about 5 years. This year I had turkey at 4 successive meals….
….laundry - people do their washing at strange times. During the Christmas Day service at church, at about 11am, I noticed 4 neighbouring houses had washing on their line. The local launderette, at about 1pm, was not only open but people were using the tumble dryers. Some bizarre tablecloth nightmare???
….garden centres - seem to have very little ’garden’ about them. Went to one and could buy candles, books, paintings, fish, cards, porcelain figurines, clothes, lighting, furniture, ferrets, snakes, hot tubs, fruit and lizards. I think you could also buy plants…..
…..reading - at Christmas I tend to read a little more. The January 2006 edition of Cosmo was very educational, especially page 16.…
....5 portions - Christmas is probably the only time of the year I easily get 5 portions of veg a day - often in one meal....
…..dumb things people say - “I know it sounds daft, but I’ve got to take off my glasses to see where I’m going.” Yep, it did sound daft, even more so when delivered in a thick Bristolian accent……
…..next Christmas? - I’ve quite enjoyed this Christmas. I’ve seen and caught up with various friends and family and received some lovely gifts. Next year I want to do something different - not sure what, but have about 360 days to work it out.

On the third day of Christmas......

I hope that you all had a good Christmas, that you didn't go down with food poisoning, that you didn't you eat so much that you could no longer see out and that you didn't tell Auntie Maud what you really thought of her present.

Above all I hope that you got to spend time with friends, family and loved ones - and that some of these groups included the same people.

'Twas the night before Christmas

Christmas is nearly upon us. Yesterday, amid the final bits of my Christmas shopping and wrapping of presents, I took a couple of hours out to watch ‘The Family Stone’. To say it’s had mixed reviews is an understatement - last Saturday the Independent listing mag described it as very good and gave it 4 stars out of 5, on Friday the Independent was listing it as ‘one to avoid‘, today it was one on the top 5 films to see in its listing mag!

It’s about family and Christmas. It’s OK - a little bittersweet and a touch US indy cinema by numbers - you also have to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. It did get me thinking about Christmas, friends and family. I was asked a couple of weeks ago what would be my ideal Christmas this year. I said I'd love to go away to Cornwall or some sunny islands for the week with my partner - some of you may have spotted the flaw in my plan! I'd not caught up with this person for a while, so I let it hang there and let them try to work out whether I'd now hooked up with someone and they had missed it. After a suitable pause I admitted that the fundamental flaw in this plan was my lack of partner!

Being a singleton at Christmas is different - not better nor worse - just different. You don't get into the "we went to your parents last year and you know I hate your mother's gravy" type arguments - which is good. Equally, without kids you can't extract yourself from a dull evening with the"kids are getting tired" excuse - which, on occasion, could be useful. The main thing is you are not quite sure where you want or are supposed to be - with parents, siblings, friends, wider family?

This year I'm fortunate in that I'll spend time with all of the above. For this, and for the great collection of friends and family I have, I am grateful and extremely blessed. Wherever you are this Christmas I hope you find peace, love and contentment. Love to you all.

Ding Dong

Christmas is virtually upon us but I have to admit that I really don’t get some Christmas carols. Take for example, this verse from ‘Away in a Manger.’

“The cattle are lowing,
The baby awakes,
But little Lord Jesus,
No crying he makes.”

Firstly, coming from Birmingham the phrase ‘the cattle are lowing’ meant very little. But ‘no crying he makes’ - come on, he was a baby it’s what they do. What about this from O Little Town of Bethlehem?

“How silently, how silently,
The wondrous gift is given.”

Now as a bloke I’m obviously not 100% nuanced with the finer points of child birth, but I’m guessing that the birth of a child to a single teenaged mother in a stable was probably not the most silent of occasions. Once in Royal David's City says,

“Christian children all should be,
Mild, obedient, good as he.”

Any church based youth workers care to comment?? I could go on - don’t get me started on ‘In the bleak mid winter’ or ‘Ding dong merrily on high’ - but there are a couple of carols I do enjoy. ‘Hark the Herald Angels’ is excellent, and even ’Whilst shepherds watched their flocks…’ can be good - when sung to the tune of ’On Ilkley Moor bar ‘tat’ (trust me - it works). Enjoy and sing heartily.

Guys, we might need a rewrite

The current slogan on the Burger King TV ads is,

"Kong Your Whopper!"

Is it just me or..?..?...

It's just me then.

All you need is.....

Today is a pretty special day; today is my grandparents 65th wedding anniversary. That’s right, 65th.

Married in 1940, during WW2 when both were in their early 20s, they’re now in their late 80s and still together. Other than during the war, or due to illness, I expect they can count the number of nights they’ve spent apart on one hand. To date their family stands at 3 sons (all married), 7 grandchildren (some married) and 4 great grandchildren (none married but the eldest is only 11 so let’s give them a chance). Yesterday several of the family - spread over four generations - got together to have a very low key celebration in the residential home in which they now both live.

This landmark celebration has made me think. It’s extremely unlikely I’ll ever celebrate such an occasion. Even if I married tomorrow (and no, I don’t have an announcement) I’d need to live until 99 to reach such a date - and I think we know that’s unlikely! I wonder what else they’ve experienced that I won’t? They are the generation of the war - something I hope we never have to go through - but I guess they’ve also had to go through times of great austerity as well as huge technological changes. Indeed only yesterday they were admiring people’s digital cameras and commenting, as only older people can, about how things have changed since their day. But I also wonder if there are things we have to go through today which they are happy to miss?

I’m a bit of a comedy anorak and one of my favourite lines in a sitcom is when someone is explaining how they’ve screwed up a potential relationship. “You don’t get to still be single in your 30s by being good at this,” they note. Very true, and a little too close to home for my liking! I guess I should learn more about all sorts of things from my grandparents. Yes they are of a very different generation, and there will be times when they will drive me slightly mad (as I’m sure I do they). But when it comes what makes a good and long lasting marriage, whatever it is they’ve got, they’ve obviously got something right.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda

Things I wish I hadn't said out loud in the past 72 hours.

"I'm currently reading Jimmy Hill's autobiography - it's fascinating."

"When I was a reserve contestant on Fifteen-to-One..........."

Things I wish I had said.

Well, that would be telling - I just hope I haven't blown it.

Know Thyself?

Been another week with several social occasions and chances to catch up with friends. Driving back from one party I got a little reflective. It was a party where I knew a few people, but not many, and as I’ve said before I wouldn‘t see myself as a ‘natural‘ on these occasions. I’m quite introverted and have the Myers-Briggs results to prove it!

About a year ago I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and I scored highly on the introversion scale - for me not a great surprise. However, results from colleagues and friends did surprise me - of the 16 broad personality types within the test, between them friends and colleagues put me in 12, and none chose the one I scored in. This suggests I’m either incredibly well balanced or slightly barking!

Why am I introverted? Alan Bennett comments his shyness is down to being brought up to be polite and not to show off - I feel there’s quite a bit of truth in that! For myself, introversion is a combination of being private, being shy and perhaps slightly lacking in self confidence (IMHO very different to low self esteem). And yes, I use self deprecating humour as a bit of a defence.

Is this good or bad? I don’t know, but I feel it’s an area I need to work at so that gives a sort of answer. I know have a lot of good qualities - apparently some have commented that I could be regarded as a ‘good catch’ (yes, I know - insert joke here about mackerel or sprat?) and I guess, along with the Alan Bennett comment above, there is probably an element of truth in it.

Yep, I know I need to loosen up a little, not be as guarded, become a bit more open and perhaps allow a little more of the ‘real me’ to show through. Bloody terrifying though! Experimenting with this blog is one part of the process and who knows, I could be pleasantly surprised.

'Tis the season.....

Parents, if you really want to know how well your child is doing at school, nursery, playgroup or youth group, ignore any end of term report or feedback - you just need to go to the Christmas or Nativity play.

If your child is either Mary or Joseph - fear not, your child is intelligent and doing well.

If they are one of the Wise Men - don’t panic, it means they are confident and reading well else they wouldn’t have been selected to say the words gold, frankincense or myrrh.

Angel Gabriel - good, they have a presence and can remember things.

One of the shepherds - OK, they know how to follow instructions and where and when to stand.

If, however, they are playing 5th sheep - I’d be worried.

Me? When I was young I got to play the Innkeeper. Yep, I was the one who turned away Mary and Joseph. Not entirely sure what it means but I’m guessing it wasn’t good.

Books etc

Browsing in the bookshop for ideas for presents I noticed the following;

"Everything men know about women - complete and unabridged."

Picked it up - was 200 completely blank pages. Me thinks it contains a lot of truth.

Slight tangent - not sure if I spent too much or too little time in the self help section.

Friday Night Lights

Amount of time spent Christmas shopping?

15 minutes.

Number of present bought?

8.

Cost of presents?

£94.50

The look on a person's face when they realise I've given them an 'amusing' fridge magnet?

Priceless.

Christmas is a time for giving and love - to pay for it there's Mastercard.

Somebody........

......needs to stop reading this and answer the texts and other messages left by his wife.

You know who you are!

Many thanks to all who comment on this blog - all comments are very gratefully received.

W and G

One man’s love of cheese, his dog’s love of a marrow, and the whole village's love of root vegetables.

Busy - but in a good way

Recently I’ve watched Pride and Prejudice – both the new film and the BBC series. Darcy comments, “I have not that talent which some possess, of conversing easily with strangers.” Now I’m unlike Darcy in numerous ways (!) but the above line hit home with me – it’s the one quality (?) I have in common with him. I’m private, quiet and introverted – areas on which I’m working. Put me in a room with a bunch of strangers and I’ll be the wallflower - I can’t ‘work’ a room at parties; a quality I don’t have but do admire in others. (BTW - Lizzie’s reply – “I do not play this instrument so well as I should wish to, but I have always supposed that to be my own fault, because I would not take the trouble of practising!” – is excellent and puts both Darcy and I in our places. Also the real love story in P&P has to be Mr & Mrs Bennett).

I thought about this as in the past couple of weeks I’ve been busy catching up with old friends and building on new friendships. I don’t feel building on newer friendships comes naturally to me, and the past couple of weeks have coincided with one of my bouts of insomnia - I usually get a couple of spells a year. Lack of sleep tends to make me grumpier (is that possible?) and appear semi-detached – not the best qualities when catching up with friends!! I also managed to double book a couple of things on Saturday and ended go back and forth across London trying to fit everything in. So to all I’ve seen in the past few weeks I’d like to apologise if I was even grumpier or more semi detached than normal – it wasn’t you!

Catching up with older friends, and building on newer friendships, has been a real joy. Time on these things is always well spent – thank you.

A moment of doubt

Have been reading several other blogs - both at random and some of people I know.

Some are good, some are weird and some outright scary. Mind you, can't say I wasn't warned. Little bit worried as to;
....what of the above categories I might fall into...
....what sort of bizarre sub culture am I now participating in...

Might need to revert to emergency plan (b).....

E is for Eggs

You're there watching a chicken lay an egg.

At what point do you think 'I wonder what that tastes like?'

Why do we poach, boil, fry and scramble eggs?

Why not just crack the top off, bung in a straw - maybe a sparkler and a little umbrella - and treat it like nature's prepared cocktail?

In defence of Notting Hill

I've been found guilty of enjoying Notting Hill. In my defence I offer the following;
....it was included as a guilty pleasure - I'm aware of my slight perversion
....most of it is bad, very bad - the whole Horse and Hound thing! - but I did say that some scenes and characters were good
....good characters - those played by Emma Chambers (ditzy sister) and Hugh Bonneville (loveable but slightly dim friend)
....good scene 1 - when they go around for the meal - yes I know it leads to the truely awful pleading for the brownie (bucket time) but I like the way the friends react when not only has he brought a date, but a famous film star
....good scene 2 - the tracking shot following the sister as she walks past the market and the seasons of the year play out in the background. Short but technically really good. It also gets the passage of time across without the hands on a clock going round super fast or a caption saying 'ten months later'

I realise that the above can only be offered as a vain attempt to reduce my sentence - but I haven't (yet) resorted to a plea on the grounds of diminished responsibilties or insanity.

Blimey - these were only the guilty pleasures I felt able to confess to.............

Evolution v Intelligent Design

Currently this is a big issue in the US, particularly in school boards and academic circles. For me the answer can be found in the duck billed platypus.

Why would such a creature evolve? Why would you design such a creature?

Guilty pleasures

Went to see the latest Harry Potter film yesterday afternoon. It's OK but is all getting a touch hormonal with Harry, Ron and Hermione - I think they could be the new Dawson, Pacey and Joey love triangle........ Anyway, there is something wonderful about toddling off to the cinema in the afternoon and indulging in a couple of hours of the cinematic experience. Then you tumble out - often back into the daylight - and realise you've still got a hefty chunk of the day left - lovely.

Other guilty pleasure include....
....The OC (c'mon, it has Jim Robinson in it)
....Pringles (more an addiction than a guilty pleasure)
....Alias (post modern feminist James Bond anyone?)
....Charmed (fight evil with cleavage)
....Kit Kats (fingers, chunky, special edition - no discrimination here)
....4 Weddings and Notting Hill (yes, longs periods of crap but are some great scenes and characters)

I know - enough already.....

Stop!

....Hammertime

More about my secret vice

If you're looking for the really juicy stuff you're going to be so disappointed. (Maybe later??)

Was told the 'thirtysomething studmuffin' post sounded 'desparate' so back to the weird world of country music. The annual CMA (Country Music Association) awards were on over the weekend and I recorded them for my later, private viewing pleasure. Tip - always record award shows, you can fast forward the really boring bits (in the case of the CMA awards the endless 'hat acts') and just watch the highlights. The performance by Alison Krauss and Union Station was the only bit I really watched, honest (perhaps a case of protesting too much?).

The show seemed to be more surreal than usual. This is the annual country music awards ceremony.....
Location? Madison Square Gardens, New York City.
Artists performing? Those well know country acts - Paul Simon, Norah Jones and Bon Jovi.
Finale? A duet of ‘Imagine’ performed by Dolly Parton and Elton John. Yep, that’s right, that well known country artist and good ole boy, Elton John!

However, there we occasions when it did revert to type - the title of 2 songs performed were;
.....Cheatin’
.....Twenty years and two husbands ago

Country music – no sense of irony or shame - you couldn’t make it up.

My blog, my rules

Oooh, I can be so domineering!!

Just to say thanks to all who've fed back comments and emails to me - some people are actually reading this which is very humbling, quite amazing and slightly scary.

Just to clarify - a few rules;

Rule 1 - No, my blog is not an excuse to not stay in touch or meet up. If anything it's the opposite; if you read this you may fear for mental wellbeing and might wish to check up on me!
Rule 2 - it's not a 'normal' blog - reading this will rarely give you an insight into what I've been doing. It may occasionally give you an insight into my mind - I refer you back to rule 1.
Rule 3 - stuff you say/do is highly unlikely to appear in this blog (unless you want it to - you sick lot). Anything private will not be shared and this blog will never contain names - it doesn't even have my name on it! I'm very private and respect confidences. This blog is, and will remain, superficial, banal and hopefully funny - usually at my expense.

I'm only intending on running this until April 2006 and then we'll see whether to continue - your pain will be shortlived!

Here endth the rant.

Thirtysomething studmuffin with gsoh.....

Friend’s 30th birthday bash at the weekend – very enjoyable evening. Apparently I have a ‘reputation’ for ‘eclectic’ gifts (a polite way of saying weird/naff?) so a bit worried about the gifts but they seemed to go down OK (many thanks to those who I bounced ideas off).

I probably said something stupid at some point during the evening. If you’ve read any of this blog you realise that the odds are pretty stacked that I would have. Had an interesting chat with a friend about how men and women feel at hitting these milestone birthdays. Friend said women probably worry about turning 30 more than men as it is more of a landmark. The thinking seemed to be if you’re a single woman in your 30s you are seen as being in some way past your prime – almost entering spinster/old maid territory – I thought this was way off target. We’re in the noughties, the 21st century, have were learnt nothing from Bridget Jones Diary? And I don’t just mean that sequels are a bad idea.

The person (female and sober I hasten to add – not some mad semi drunken bloke mouthing off – honestly it wasn’t me) then said if you’re a bloke and still single in you’re 30s, you are looked upon as being ‘a catch’ (such a quaint phrase). Now, I’m thirtysomething and single so this person is clearly making sense – what wise and sensible people I know! Finally, I have confirmation of what I’d always know – I am ‘a catch’. Just a little bit more work and who knows, maybe I could make it into that ‘studmuffin’ category.

Let’s not vote on that.

S is for Sudoku

What's the point?

D is for dolphins

No idea how I know - natural history programmes I think, your honour.

Note to self - learn to wait a decent interval before answering bizarre questions.

Pointless knowledge

As many of you know I possess a lot of completely pointless knowledge - 1980s television, movies, general rubbish. With the growth of the internet the value of this is even less than it used to be - with Google you can easily find pointless bits of trivia.

Just occasionally though my knowledge is 'useful' - say in a trivia quiz. Did one on Friday evening and strangely the team I was in won - though that I wasn't there for the vital tie break question probably helped - I didn't even know we were joint leaders.

Still, during the quiz I think I answered the following question a little too quickly.......

"Apart from humans, which is the only other species who has sex for pleasure?"

Answer above.

K is for kettle

A kettle uses electricity to heat water. Let's think about that - water and electricity.

How many people were injured in trying to invent the kettle? After the first electrocution why did they return to it?

You know you're getting old when.......

Vicars are younger than you.

I moved across London a few months ago and so have been settling into my new neighbourhood. A key element for me is finding a local church which - somewhat ironically - I find soul destroying.

Recently went to a large, vibrant and young church and both - not just one, both - of the vicars were younger than me. Church notices are often funny - will no doubt be more of this later in the blog's life - and one notice at this service was that the following Sunday evening the church were going to have a film night. The film to be shown was The Truman Show - a film which could, no doubt, spark lots of debate about our roles in life, how much we control our destiny, freewill v. God's plan, and even theological issues of predestination.

However, the main question I would have is, "If God exists, and there is already so much suffering in the world, why does he allow Jim Carrey films to be made?"

I sense me and this church are not on the same wavelength.........

Knowing me, knowing you.......

I seem to be turning into Alan Partridge.....

Last weekend I had no plans - completely free - relaxing, different, slightly boring. Found myself saying to someone it had make me think "I'm like a shark - I always need to keep moving, to keep doing something." Not even an internal dialogue - I said it out loud.

It's only a very short step to looking at myself in the mirror each morning and going, "Remember, you're a tiger you are, a tiger. Grrrrrr!"

I feel so ashamed........

Sordid confession.....part 1

Earlier I commented on there are certain things you can’t public admit to – here is one of my confessions. Ready?

…I quite like (some) country music….

There, said it – it’s now ‘out there’.

Yes, a lot of it is dreadful, it can be corny and too many songs contain lyrics about dogs dying. But in my defence I offer the following chorus from one country artist’s album;

“Well it’s perfectly clear, between the TV and beer,
I won’t get so much as kiss.
As I head for the door, I turn around to be sure;
did I shave my legs for this?
Darling, did I shave my legs for this?” (Deana Carter, 1996)

How can you not like a music genre which has lyrics like that???

C is for Cow

Walking to work the other morning I needed to remember something very important – buy milk for my tea and coffee.

A few thoughts occurred to me;
· Who first decided to milk a cow and why?
· What other animals did they try before cows, or was it first time lucky?
· Why did they stop at cows – or did they?

Today, Trisha, I will mostly admit to…

Confession is ‘good for the soul’ and these days people can admit to all sorts of things; often on national daytime television complete with sofa, drapes and a baying audience. I could admit to,
…believing in the healing properties of crystals…
…being a love rat…
…having all sorts of plastic surgery…
…spending weeks in rehab overcoming my alcohol and drugs problem….
Most people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at any of those.

Yet there are certain things people find it difficult to admit. At one level its stuff like admitting our children are terrors (they’re ‘hyperactive’ – yet curiously remain overweight!), you enjoy trainspotting or you liked Cliff Richard’s last single.

However, on another level people find it impossible to admit certain things – being lonely or not being able to afford something. Why would admitting that you feel alone elicit a stranger response from people than saying you had a transmitter implanted in your tooth by the CIA and you are now receiving messages from aliens?

It may be some things are too real or personal, too private. Perhaps realities are harder for other people, including family and friends, to deal with than trivialities. If so, somewhere our priorities have gotten messed up.

What am I doing??

Sought some wise counsel from a friend before I really commenced this blogging lifestyle.

Me: Am considering entering the world of blogging. Any worries?
Him: YES...definitely a cry for help.
Me: In a good way?
Him: Is there a good way?

Once Upon a Time.......

So, welcome to my blog. As someone who has been quite dismissive of this whole blogging idea there is one key question - What the hell am I doing starting one?? To be honest I don't know.

...perhaps it will offer me a chance to share amusing anecdotes...
...perhaps offer witty comments and observations on life...
...perhaps a chance to show that my life is interesting, no honest......

Who knows?? Though I have real doubts about the last idea.

This is the start of a bit of journey for me. Where it leads I don't know - but I hope that I'll be honest, as open as I feel I can be, and occasionally funny - whether intentional or not. May be this becomes our guilty little secret....

Above all, I figure it'll be cheaper than therapy. I hope you enjoy.