Only 360 something days until...

So, how was it for you? Guess I spent much of Christmas as many did - time with family, friends and the motorway network of the UK.

Spent a couple of days in Birmingham doing traditional Christmas things - turkey and sprouts for lunch, a session on the Wii in the afternoon mixed with the requisite amount of time lying on the sofa like an overfed python. The most constructive thing I've done over the period was help build a wooden triceratops - OK, so its leg fell off, but a partial achievement nonetheless.

Then headed down to Devon for a couple days. Coastal scenery and sea breezes - it's not just Skegness that's so bracing. Overall a few days of doing little very little other than sitting on the sofa chatting, surfing or reading - things I don't do enough of during the rest of the year.

Whatever you did, no matter how bad you were on the games console of your choice, hope you had some nice gifts, time to relax, and an enjoyable few days.

Happy Christmas

Last Sunday the minister at my church did a wonderful talk about the iconography of Christmas cards. It was exactly the sort of talk churches should do more often - relevant, amusing and informative. I was looking through my cards again today and was not quite sure what he would make of some of them. Several feature penguins (what, they weren't in your nativity scene?), some have snowmen, and one, somewhat bizarrely, is a picture of a bicycle covered in snow. My favourite is the one below - surely nothing quite truly captures the spirit of Christmas than women in the 1930s throwing snowballs at each other in bathing suits??


Whatever your feelings are about Christmas - be it the warmth of spending time with family, the annoyance of the consumerism, or the joy of 'the reason for the season' - I wish you all a very Happy Christmas.

The thought that counts?

Christmas Eve is a great time to do the gift shopping. The train and shops were both really quiet first thing this morning, it seemed almost civilised. Anyway, I select the final gift and head to the till. I hand it over, the assistant looks at the gift, looks at me and asks, "would you like a gift receipt with that?"

It's come to this, even the sales assistants are critiquing my gift selections...

The Twelve Days of Christmas?

On the first day of Christmas..
It was the postman who knocked on the door. “No problem with the pear tree, squire,” he said, handing me a potted plant, “but I’m afraid we’ve had to take the partridge into protective custody. There’s rules you know, what with bird ‘flu and all.”

On the second day of Christmas..
Some very threatening fellows from a sealife preservation society turned up. “Turtles,” their spokesman said aggressively, “are a protected species.”
“I’ll think you’ll find these are not turtles, but turtle doves,” I explained. He was horrified. “You’ve crossed a turtle with a dove?” he exclaimed. “I’ll have the GM people onto you,” and he stormed off.

On the third day of Christmas..
It was Customs and Excise demanding to know why I had not secured an import licence for the French hens.

On the fourth day of Christmas..
Was wrecked by the calling birds. I took them to be friends of my son, but he denied all knowledge of it, and they kept us awake half the night calling each other on their mobiles.

On the fifth day of Christmas..
The postman left a card asking me to pick up a consignment of five gold rings, which sounded good until I turned up at the depot…

On the sixth day of Christmas..
And found that they were attached to the feet of all but one of half-a-dozen geese. “I hope you realise,” the postal officer said, “that tagged geese are the property of the tagger, and may not be slaughtered and consumed over the festive period.”

On the seventh day of Christmas..
A liveried footman turned up from the Palace with a query about the provenance of a septet of swans that had been sent to me - presumably by the same anonymous troublemaker as had sent me the other items. “If these are royal swans from the river Thames,” he said, “we could have you for treason.”

On the eighth day of Christmas..
The eight milkmaids, complete with cows, attracted a swarm of council officials, from the food standards people to the brothel licensing authorities, arguing over whether to prosecute me for trading in unpasteurised milk or running a disorderly house.

On the ninth day of Christmas..
But when the nine ladies dancing turned up as well, the vice squad gained the upper hand in that dispute.

On the tenth day of Christmas..
The consignment of Lords that arrived seemed set to restore a bit of decorum, until the Lords starting leaping. “Have you done a risk assessment for this activity?” the insurance people wanted to know. “We cannot hold ourselves responsible, under the terms of your contract, for any injuries that may result from the collision of a Lord with your low ceilings.”

On the eleventh day of Christmas..
This was the worst so far, when we were woken by the sound of bagpipes played by a contingent of almost a dozen pipers. My cries of “Go away” were drowned by their inexorable honking (or that may have been the geese, it was difficult to tell) and then my door was nearly knocked down by a man from the council demanding to know whether we had a music licence. “This,” I said, gesturing towards the bagpipes, “is not music,” but my argument lost a good deal of its strength when..

On the twelfth day of Christmas..
A dozen drummers turned up to accompany them.

Mr Allen? I've something to tell you...

I notice in the news that Lily Allen (a popular musical entertainer for the young people I believe) is pregnant. Also notice that the father is Ed Simons, one of the Chemical Brothers (a popular skiffle group I believe m'lud) - she's 22, he's 37.

Couple of asides. Firstly, he clearly has not read the rules about ages for your partner - either don't date anyone younger than you by more than 5 years or take your age, divide by 2 and add 9 to give the youngest 'acceptable age'. What?? You've never read these either??

Secondly, not sure I'd want to be the one to have to tell Keith Allen he's about to become a grandfather...

'tis the season...

The usual busy run up to Christmas with people at work trying to clear their in-trays and finish things before the Christmas break.

The 'fun' has been added to this week with a promotion interview. So, on Tuesday morning I was put through my paces about business planning, the potential impact of International Financial Reporting Standards, huggy staff issues, and what are the things to consider when wanting to sell things through the internet? Riveting stuff I think you'll agree - a slightly surreal time to be honest.

End result is a promotion with effect from 1st April. Let's not read too much significance in to the date shall we??

Website of the week

So, do you think you've done a lot with your life?

Have a look here and compare with others...

Seem familiar??

I'm not entirely sure who Rhydian actually is...

...but he did look strangely familiar.

Ready for my close up

Came across this wonderful quotation the other day.

"He wore his baldness like an expensive hat, as if it were out of the question for him to have hair like other men." Cecil B DeMille

For *some* reason it seemed to resonate with me....

"The time is ten to eight..."

Saw this on the excellent postsecret.

Website of the week

Now, there's not a bloke out there who wouldn't wish to enter this.

An early Christmas present?

Been another 'interesting' week at work. The new head of department is settling in - and a couple of the other senior staff have resigned.

Fortunately the two aren't linked - one is going to a better job and the other is retiring - but the fact remains that in a couple of months I will be the only senior member of the department who was in place 6 months earlier.

The good news is that a promotion opportunity has opened up. The bad is I'll be under more pressure should I get it - a tricky dilemma.

In the end I've applied for the promotion - but it's not in the circumstances I'd have liked. Interview will be in a couple of weeks and I'll know by Christmas.

It could be a case of be careful what you wish for...

In conversation

Was out with a few friends last night for a meal - people I've met through an evening class so I don't know them that well or in a 'social' setting. A very pleasant evening during which I appeared to show far too much knowledge about cardigans being this season's 'must have' for men (which they are), but you really need to be tall and thin to wear them (which I'm not).

Snippets of conversation from others included,

"I don't like meeting celebrities even since then time I was 10 and met Bruce Forsyth and he blanked me."

"It's great, I like my job. Tomorrow I'm working in a different branch - it's the one where one of the other staff used to be George in Rainbow."

Website of the week

How would Jack Bauer have coped with mid 90s technology?

Find out here.

It that's the answer...

Am I the only one who finds the arrest of Harry Redknapp slightly amusing?

It's the whole paranoia - thinking that the timing of the arrest is part of some bigger conspiracy to prevent him becoming the next England manager.

Firstly, if Harry Redknapp is the answer to England's problems then things are a lot worse than we feared.

Secondly, a wider conspiracy? There's no way the FA are that organised!

The Transformation Continues...

OK, I know I'm touch with my feminine side. One person often jokingly calls me their 'gayest straight friend'. We're all metrosexual now. It's the noughties, lets deal with it. However, even I had a slight inwards wry smile tonight.

It's been a rough week; what did I end up doing tonight? Bought some nice new shoes.

Sometimes I can be such a girl...

A proper management guru

Earlier this year I was sent on a 'leadership programme' by my employer - see here for the sort of things we did. Anyway, last night was the annual 'alumni' gathering for the people who'd been on the programme over the years. A good chance to hear a talk by a London Business School professor, catch up with some people who I met on the programme, and drink room temperature white wine whilst eating slightly poncey canapes. Exactly - not really my sort of thing... to be honest, it was fine and there are worse ways to spend a couple of hours.

At one point the LBS lecturer commented that he and his academic partner had recently been listed at number 32 in 'The Thinkers 50 - the world's most important and influential thinkers'. Given the top 10 includes Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Michael Porter, Jack Welch, Tom Peters and Alan Greenspan (all men you notice?? a glass ceiling for women in business anyone??) I think this was supposed to impress us. Well it didn't - especially when he then admitted that number 21 on the list was Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert.

Now, Dilbert, there's a proper management guru - at least he's in the real world.

Website of the week

Forget the social networks of Bebo, MySpace and Facebook.

Join an anti-social network - enjoy hatebook.

The wacky world of football

Apparently Steve Bruce's move from Birmingham to Wigan has been held up over a dispute about a payment he received for 'image rights'.

Steve Bruce...

Image rights...

Insert your own joke here.

There's a shocker!

So, England haven't qualified for Euro 2008 - to be honest I'm glad. England simply didn't deserve it - and the sooner we all realise that England aren't actually that good, the better.

The EPL may be fast, furious and full of Sky induced excitment - but it's all hype. Players are overpaid, overhyped, technically lacking, and prematurely labelled 'world class'. Not a single player in the England squad is 'world class' - how may would make an Italian, Brazilian or even a US squad? Answer, none. How many play abroad? One - and his last game was against Hollywood FC.

At its heart football is a very beautiful, and very simple, team game. You pass it to a player in your team, work your way up the pitch and eventually you'll get a semi decent chance to have a shot - that's it. It's not long, optimistic balls down the centre of the pitch. It's not long throw ins to 'the big guy up front'. It's not being flash or having passion. It's not diving and getting dubious penalties. It's simple - possession and technique - the two areas England lack. England had an easy group from which to qualify - unlike Scotland or Northern Ireland who have done superbly and haven't received anything like the praise they deserve.

The only thing worse than England? The BBC coverage. Lineker, Hansen, Shearer and Wright are awful. Lineker would be a good pundit - and at least he's actually done something in big tournaments - but he shouldn't be fronting the show. Much as like I Hansen, he is descending into a caricature of himself. Shearer was dull as player and is as equally dull on TV. Whilst I admire his loyalty to Newcastle, he was found wanting on the big international stage so I can never take his criticism of players not performing at the top level seriously. As for Ian Wright - the man can barely string a sentence together at the best of times, and the fact that the England squad includes his son should immediately disbar him from the pundit panel. The sooner Auntie Beeb wakes up and puts a decent football panel together the better. My suggestion; it needs a balance of professional, yet knowledgable, presenters and some ex-pros - Adrian Chilles hosting with the pundits being Lineker, James Richardson and Strachan or O'Neil.

Anyway, back to the football. England have made the beautiful game, ugly. McClaren should go, Barwick should go, Gerrard, Lampard and Beckham should all go. Put Brooking in charge of the FA, get sensible coaching at youth level throughout the country, and employ Hiddink - who has worked miracles with Holland, South Korea, Australia and Russia - at whatever salary he wants.

Still, at least we'll now have a genuine festival of football next summer - England will not be missed.

Website of the week

You think your passport photo is bad?

It could be so much worse - enjoy celebrity mugshots.

Thanks, for, that.

Was shopping in Boots. When I got my receipt I also a voucher for £2 off my next purchase of...

...haircare products.

In my case, that's just cruel.

Listen very carefully

Spotted, yesterday afternoon on a train, legendary TV comedy stalwart of 'Allo,'Allo and Porridge, Sam Kelly.

I know, I know.... I'm one step away from train spotting...

Website of the week

Need to improve your time management?

Not enough hours in the day?

How about a 28 hour day??

And to your left...

Spent most of the day sequested away in meeting. But when the view out of the window is this - it's not all bad.

Website of the week

For vital information in these dangerous times see here??

A Living Legend

OK, currently having a 'state visit' from my Mum. What to do?? Theatre trip seems a good option and I scour the listings. A production of Faustus?? I'd quite like it but doubtful it's my Mum's thing. Production of Romeo & Juliet?? Perhaps, but possibly too much of an experimental production and not sure Shakespeare is her thing also... West End musical?? Good idea, but tickets are starting at £70 each.

Chance upon a production of Dr Dolittle. Other than 'talking to the animals' I know little about the story. The star is Tommy Steele - this seems ideal for the 'state visit' so tickets booked.

Well the story is the sort of thing that if it had been devised in the 60s by an experimental theatre group you would have put it down to them having smoked too many bananas. Talking animals, dodos, giant sea slugs and the two headed Pushmi Pullyu (how does it go to the toilet??) are all the sort of things inspired by a bad acid trip. Also the minor love story between Dr Dolittle and Emma Fairfax - a women young enough to not only be his daughter but his granddaughter - is a little troubling.

However, the star of the show was most definitely Tommy Steele. In a career spanning over 50 years we forget just what a big star he was, and indeed is. And here he is, age 70, still carrying a 2 hour musical note perfect for 8 performances a week. OK, not necessarily my sort of theatre experience, I'm not a fan of musicals (the only exception is Singing in the Rain - and that's because if you remove all the songs you still have a great satire on Hollywood) but you have to admire and respect a genuine theatrical stalwart and national institution.

So, farewell then Tony Soprano?

And so it ended - The Sopranos, a show that was groundbreaking, shocking, genre-defining, and, I would argue, one that eventually almost became a cliche of itself, has finally come to a close.

Over the years it's been fascinating watching the relationships around Tony evolve - especially those between himself and Uncle Junior and his sister, Janice. It's also been fun watching AJ and Meadow grow up - as they first realise, and then accept, exactly what their father does for a living.

However... the ending??? I felt cheated - it had 'future Christmas special' written all over it. As a creator and director who often sought to 'break the mould', I expected more from David Chase.

Website of the week

The iPhone? Credit cards? Golf balls?

And a blender?

Well, will it blend?

Ratatouille

Rats. Kitchens. Is it just me or have UB40 really missed out by neither supplying the theme tune, nor a tie in release of a single, with the distribution of the new Disney/Pixar movie?

Anyway... Remy possesses a great sense of smell, an ability to cook and ends up in a kitchen of a famous restaurant in Paris. The fact that he is rat doesn't hinder him and before long he is turning the kitchen garbage boy - a slacker/stoner type who would be played by Keanu Reeves in a live action version of the film - into the hottest chef in town.

There is comedy, romance and cuteness in abundance in this picture - several times most of the women in the cinema went 'ahhh' at various saccharine moments. Technically the film is superb, the animation is magnificent with the food, Paris and the rats all looking stunning. Unfortunately the story is a bit, well, Disney. I think I have two quibbles, firstly, it lacks the humour and bite of previous Pixar outings, like Toy Story and The Incredibles. Secondly, the story goes on a bit of a walkabout about two-thirds of the way in - 10 minutes could have been axed and I feel the pacing would have improved.

But, in reality, these are minor quibbles. The film is far better, and funnier, than most comedies I've seen this year, and the short animation that accompanies it is a brilliant warm-up featurette. If nothing else you'll leave the cinema hungry and wanting to visit Paris.

This doesn't apply to be me...

... but at what point does 'being organised' become 'obsessive compulsive disorder'??

Website of the week

Grommit's favourite TV channel??

Enjoy the cheese.

Paris in the autumn

For some reason the mid morning Eurostar to Paris was full of rugby fans...

It also ran out of beer before reaching Paris...

Linked?

England Expects??

So, the football team who are supposed to be 'world class' and full of 'greats' and 'superstars' are unlikely to qualify for Euro 2008.

Yet the rugby team, who a month ago capitulated to a workmanlike opponent in a group match, have somehow ended up in the World Cup Final.

Sport - it's just cruel.

Well, Cilla

Over the nibbles before a meeting last night a friend sidles up for a catch up chat - what have you been up to since we last met? how are things? - the usual stuff. A pause, and then...

"Anyway, there's this woman who has just started working with me - I think she'd be great for you."

Well, you have to admire their directness! Never quite know what to say in these situations. I'm always slightly (but only slightly) intrigued as to who my friends would consider to be my 'type' and set me up with - my mind wanders to the scene in Notting Hill when the friends of Hugh the bookshop owner set up a range of dinner dates with an increasingly bizarre collection of women.

Batted it back with the usual 'a couple of years ago this would have annoyed me but now I'm grateful - it shows you've not given up hope for me yet!'

Mind you - did I miss the memo? This has been the second time this has happened in a month (see here) - perhaps friends feel my time is running out and making a last ditch effort?! ;o)

A lot on your plate?

At the church service last night the minister gave us a paper plate to write things on as a way to illustrate the message.

All fine... but I couldn't help wandering what others made - several grown-ups walking down the high street carrying paper plates with felt-tipped writing on at 8pm on a Sunday evening.

Website of the week

Do you ever worry about invitations that are 'black tie'?

What exactly is 'business casual' or 'cocktail dress - informal'?

Do you know what's acceptable for 'smart casual'?

The answers are here.

Explains a lot...

So far this week only one of my journeys on SouthWest Trains has been on time. Tonight there was the following annoucement.

"The 17:29 is running 8 minutes late and is due in at 17:38."

When they can't the basic maths right...

Double meaning??

Noticed on an advert that Katie Melua's new song contains the lyric,

"If you were a piece of wood, I'd nail you."

Now, is it just me?.?.?

Probably...

Kenny

Quite how the filmakers pitched the idea of a 'mockumentary' following an Aussie bloke who works in 'corporate bathroom rentals' I don't know - but Kenny is a wonderfully quirky movie.

Kenny is a 'plumber' working in 'corporate bathrooms rentals', i.e. he supplies the portaloos you seen at umpteem festivals - the exact quantity needed varies depending on whether alcohol or curries are available at the event. He's an ordinary bloke, doing a vital job - he sees the necessity of the service he provides and seeks to do it to the best of his ability. Above all he's not ashamed of his job, even if his friends and family are.

Yes - there's lots of toilet based humour in this film, but little is gratutitous. You get the philosphical ramblings of an everyday, good, solid Australian bloke who knows people probably think less of him because of his job, but is determined to see the bigger picture.

It could have easily descended into a dreadful 'gross-out' comedy, but it doesn't. There are even some wonderfully poignant moments looking at his relationships with both his father and son, and a sweet romantic interlude at a trade exhibtion in Nashville.

Unfortunately it seems to have a fairly limited release in the UK, which is a pity - it's like Kath and Kim with more toilet gags, which you would have thought would be a winning commercial proposition here. If you get chance - and can stomach toilet humour - go and see it, you'll be rewarded with a lovely little character driven comedy.

Website of the week

Away on holiday or business??

Fed up with expensive hotels or impersonal travelodges??

Then try Couch Surfing

How did that happen??

England win?!

France win?!

At this rate we'll have an England v Scotland rugby world cup final.

Seeing the forest for the trees?

After a varied week - time for a Saturday morning stroll and some space.

TW3

That was the week that was... A 'fun' week.

Interview went well but, as expected, I didn't get offered the promotion. Not a huge surprise as it would have been a massive promotion. Main aim was not to disgrace myself in the interview - and the early feedback is I didn't, quite the contrary. The following days contained office gossip about who was going to the get the job. Friday morning the current head of dept came into my office.

"It's X," he said.
"Really?" was my mildly surprised response. "That will be ... interesting."
"Yes... it'll put a lot of pressure on you."

I was sworn to secrecy, it won't be 'official' until Monday.

Interesting times ahead...

Blimey...

Have been called for interview...

Extreme outcomes would be
a) disgrace,
b) being actually offered the job.

Not sure which is more frightening...

Website of the week

Now, do they get away with this dirty dancing or is it way too cheesy and smug??

What's more worrying is there are at least 2 cameras involved, so someone has gone to the trouble to mix/edit it!

Does that make it even worse??

Have applied...

What have I done??

Main aim - do not disgrace myself.

What would you do???

During my travels around the UK the past month it's fair to say I've not missed South West Trains one little bit - since my return to work not a single journey to or from work has been on time.

Anyway, current debate seems to be whether I should apply...

Back in 5 mins

Back to work. Not too bad as less than 400 emails in my inbox - I've had worse.

Big change is the head of department has got a promotion elsewhere in the organisation - wonder who the replacement will be.

Rememer you're a Womble

Out cycling and discover that not only is Wimbledon Common home to the Wombles but also the Wimbledon Windmill Museum.

Surely I'm not the only one who finds this a little bizarre? Make a note to return to find out what it's all about.

OK - windmills obviously... but all the same... slightly left field surely??

Raindrops keep falling

Back in London to a mass of washing, unpacking and mail.

Unload the bike rack and roof bars and decide my car has earnt the treat of a car wash - it is looking rather dirty.

Discovering a leak in the car during the car wash adds to the excitement of the day.

What happened to Berni Inns??

Stop over in Birmingham for a couple of days on my way back down south and catch up with family and friends. Sunday lunch is taken in a carvery - they're slightly strange places with an interesting mix of patrons. There are young families, often augmented with a grandparent, are larger family groups, or senior citizen couples out for a Sunday lunch - not the sort of mixed demographic you would see at other types of restaurant. Guess me and my mum add to the strangeness. One thing I have noticed is you rarely see a non-white face even in a multicultural city like Brum... guess it's an acquired English taste??

Staying with some friends who half jokingly are suggesting they set me up with someone they have in mind - it's polite mickey-taking. A few years ago it's the sort of thing that really annoyed me but now I take a more positive view - at least they haven't yet abandoned all hope for me! ;o)

But is it art??

Having seen his recent exhibition on the South Bank, and the installation at Blundell Sands, seeing as I'm passing it would be rude not to visit Anthony Gormley's most famous work - so here I am.

Like much of his other work I've seen it's impressive - the sheer scale of the installation is amazing - but I come away from it thinking "yeah... and..?". Probably makes me some form of ghastly artistic philistine but if I walk away from a piece of art thinking "well, what was the artist trying to say?" you can't help but conclude that the artist has failed on one level. Recently the Angel of the North came second on a list of most disappointing tourist attractions - it was behind Stonehenge. A bit unfair I feel - I may not be a huge fan of the piece but it is a stunning artistic installation on a huge scale.


On the way south I make an unscheduled and impulsive stop at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park. It's an amazing place with wonderful galleries and beautiful sculptures (such as Moore and Hepworth) set in the rolling Yorkshire countryside. Spent a lovely couple of hours wandering around enjoying it all - made all the more enjoyable as it was visited purely on a whim. Only slight disappointment is with it being so far from where I live I expect I'll be a rare visitor.

Hogwarts

There are 2 things which seem to almost dominate the town of Alnwick, one of which is Alnwick Castle and Gardens. So today I head off to nose around the castle. The home of the Duke of Northumberland it is as you'd imagine a castle to be - and again going around the State Rooms I couldn't but help notice the various Canaletto and Titian paintings - no Athena posters of 'girl scratching her bum playing tennis' here.

Recently the castle has taken on a new form of fame as it was used for the exterior location shots of Hogwarts in the first two Harry Potter films, and at one point I did hear a guide point out the location of the Quidditch match. Wonder what previous Dukes would have made of Pottermania and their home's small part in it?

The other big thing in Alnwick is the excellent Barter Books - a large second hand bookshop in what was the old railway station. A simply superb place in which I spent a very pleasant couple of hours - and several £££s - last evening. An absolute gem.

Holy Island

Driving across the causeway to Lindisfarne is a little disconcerting - it's as though the tarmac has simply been laid on the beach - which is probably more or less the situation. It does make you feel vulnerable and I make a mental note to leave clearly within the safe crossing times - I don't fancy being on this road when the tide is rolling in.

I like islands - don't know why as a grew up in Birmingham which is about as far from an island a you can get in the UK - but I'm not sure what to make of Lindisfarne. Is it an island or isn't it? For large parts of the day you can easily drive across to it, but equally for other large parts it is cut off and definitely an island - does this 'part time' nature of being an island mean living there is different to, say, the Western Isles?

It is still nonetheless fairly remote and off the beaten track and, like so much else in Northumbria, is beautiful with stunning bays and the seemingly obligatory castle. It is given something else by the presence of the Priory. Fascinating to wander around and simply feel and sense the history of the place and like many other such places, for example Glastonbury Abbey, I can but imagine what the place must have looked like in its 'prime', or, indeed, how different it may look today if Henry VIII had dissolved the monasteries.

A wonderful place I wish I could spend more time here today - but the safe crossing times mean I head back to mainland after a few fascinating hours spent on Holy Island.

Coast

Weather again looks decent so I hoist the bike back on the roof bars and do a route taking in the Northumbria coast. I seem again to be constantly cycling into a headwind, no matter what direction I'm going in, but I'm rewarded with stunning scenery - beaches, bays and ruined castles - this really is a beautiful part of the country.

Berwick upon Tweed and my first castle

Berwick is a strange place. Being on the border it has often been fought over by the English and the Scots and so it has a lot of history - but there's not a great deal to do there. Having had a walk around the old town walls and read the various information about its history - plus the stuff about Lowry who visited and painted the place a lot - I head off to find something to eat. Can recommend the restaurant attached to the arts centre - such places are often a good bet as they need to raise money towards such centre runing costs so they tend to be decent - and had fantastic fishcakes.

Berwick is a place with dual identity. The accents are likely to be Scottish as much a north east England, my change was given to me in Scottish notes, the church with the spire dominating the skyline is actually Church of Scotland (the adjacent CofE pictured above was built under the reign of Cromwell so is more muted and has no spire). A nice town, but one which nowadays probably struggles with its identity and purpose.

In the afternoon I stop off as Bamburgh Castle. Now this is a proper castle - walls 10 feet thick, built on a hill, overlooking the sea and dominating the landscape. Another place full of history - though much of its current look was due to its restoration in the late 19th century.

I'm always fascinated by the art on the walls in such places, and this is no exception as among the various paintings are some by Turner and Van Dyck. Always makes my tasteful prints from the Tate seem somewhat inferior!

Kielder

The weather is good so strap the bike to the roof bars and head off to Kielder for a decent cycle ride. For a trip near a lake the route is surprisingly hilly, which is not helped by cycling into a decent for the first several miles. A restorative hot chocolate stop is needed and seems to do the trick.

Part of the trip is along the route of the old railway line linking the north east to Scotland through the midde of the borders. It was still operational into the 1950s and when taking the train it must have been lovely to stare out at the beautiful scenery through which it went.

Head back to the car and discover hoisting the bike on to the roof bars is a lot easier at the start of a cycle ride than at the end! Another restorative drink - plus cheesecake - help the energy levels and I head to back across stunning scenery to Alnwick. I pass a Post Bus and the countryside reminds me of Postman Pat - when I read one of the tourist leaflets later that evening I discover that the area did indeed inspire the setting for the legendary postie.

You're not from round 'ere...

Take it easy and do what I always do when I arrive in a new part of the country – I head to the tourist information centre and buy maps! The weather is good – though I stand out from the locals. Whilst I'm in T-shirt and fleece/hoodie top feeling a slight chill in the air, the locals are in in T-shirt, shorts and spaghetti strapped vest tops. It's not that warm surely?

Forecast for the week looks good - perhaps the mountain bike attached to my roof bars will not be there for show but might see the pedals turned in anger.

Fog on the Tyne...

Head across the Pennines to Northumbria but stop off on route in Newcastle to catch up with a friend. I've been to Newcastle before but pass the 'usual' locations on the way as though I'm doing some sort of travelogue – the Angel of the North (yet more Gormley!), the Tyne Bridge and St James Park (which completely dominates the sky line). I'm in full 'tourist mode' and we head down to the quayside where we spend a excellent few hours pottering ending up at a tapas restaurant. Again, really good to catch up with people and a thoroughly enjoyable few hours.

Finally, I head further north and end up in Alnwick, my intended destination. Always a little interesting when you first turn up at a holiday location you've never been to before – what will it be like? Will be OK? First impressions of Alnwick are very favourable – it feels right.

Across the Mersey

Head up to Southport to catch up with some relatives – again a good day and time well spent. End my time with them at Blundell Sands looking at the Gormley installations on the beach. It's fascinating and is clearly now a key site in Liverpool in the same way the London Eye is for London – there is a film crews there doing some spot to camera. A crowd gathers and bizarrely we see it is living legend Ken Dodd doing the piece to camera. A local shares a punchline of an old joke,

“Ken Dodd died today.”
“Did he?”
“No, Doddy.”

Ah, that “famous Scouse sense of humour (TM)”....

A really pleasant evening is spent around at a flat in central Liverpool – I am strictly in 'hanger on' territory but the group are fun and welcoming. The cityscape view from the balcony is stunning – the lights of a ship heading up the Mersey to one side and the Roman Catholic Metropolitan Cathedral on the other. The evening evolves in to what can only be described as cheesy YouTube video karaoke – a lot more fun than it sounds and a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Plus the French lose the opening Rugby World Cup match - fantastic!

Liverpool

I head north to spend a couple of days in Liverpool catching up with people prior to heading further north to Northumbria. It's a strange day to be in Liverpool as it's the day of Rhy's funeral. The strange feeling is compounded by that I'll be staying in Norris Green – indeed the school opposite is Rhy's primary school and is shut for the day.

It's good to catch up – the weather is great and a good time is spent in cafes, coffee shops, bars and restaurants.

Arthurian Magic

Head over the border to Cornwall. Strange to think that in a week I'll be at the complete opposite end of England.


Never been to Tintagel before and find it's a bit like Glastonbury - full of Arthurian legend filled giftshops and crystals - but with slightly fewer nutters and more surf shops. It's a lovely little place on the stunning Cornish coastline - a nice blend of places, a little off the beaten track and I like it.


Wander around the ruins of the castle and head off to the parish church. I always seek out the war memorial in these places. I remain constantly amazed at how a small and remote place such as this still sustained a large amount of losses during the First World War - over 30 names are listed on the memorial for this small parish.

Stop off at Bude on the way back before retreating over the border, leaving the Cornish flags behind.

Exeter

Take the Tarka Line to Exeter. The train service is approximately every 2 hours and the train is packed - it's mid morning on a Thursday and people are standing. I find it symbolic of the UK public transport system - its obviously popular but has outdated rolling stock and is overcrowded. Is it really beyond the wit of man to make the service hourly or have a 4 carriage service rather than 2 overcrowded ones?

Anyway, rant over. Exeter is not quite what I'm expected. For one it's quite hilly. Secondly the centre contains many ghastly post war buildings amongst which there are several oasis of beautiful old architectural gems. It looks as though the city has evolved in patches with little overall direction. Much redevelopment is going on - but are we merely repeating the mistakes of the 50s and 60s with glass replacing concrete as the material of choice?

Potter around the centre and wander down to the quayside - highlight is the cathedral with its wonderfully vaulted ceiling. A welcoming place and the refectory does a fine caramel shortcake.

Go west

Have headed down to north Devon to recuperate and catch up with some people.

Always great to be here and as the sun sets there is a moment to pause and reflect.

An 'ordinary' sunset - after all it's a daily event (!) - but still beautiful nonetheless.

Same time next year?

So, it's over for another year...

The alarm goes off and I head back to do the final things I need to on site. Everyone is pleased how it has gone - everyone is tired.

I've got a few things to finish up and by the time I get them done I head off site at about 2.30pm. It's been a long and tiring few days - but there is always a sense of achievement once it's done. Find myself already thinking of the 2008 festival.

Finally there is the symbolic cutting off of the wristband. I always have mixed emotions at this - pleased that another festival has gone well and I can retreat to a bed to get some sleep, but always a ting of sadness that it's over.

Heaven in Ordinary - Day 4

The final day of the festival - the home stretch.

The good vibe - and weather! - continues. I toddle along to a couple things wearing my 'official hat'. As always there are things to be improved and worked on for next year, but overall the feedback on the festival is very positive.

Chas & Dave have gone down well on the mainstage - seems to be a mass singalong.

As the evening descends, and thousands of festival goers go off and enjoy the delights of Duke Special and Delirious?, I head back to a long night of work.

Tired but happy - it is all just so worthwhile.

Heaven in Ordinary - Day 3

Batteries in my camera have died - hence no photos.

Sunday always a busy day - but with the sun still shining, and the festival in full flow, a good day.

I'm busy and tired but catch a bit of a break and listen to One Nation on the mainstage whilst munching on a fantastic pie.

Sat here in the sun, life is good.

Heaven in Ordinary - Day 2

Manage to get to a couple of things.

"When the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all as it should be.."

And enjoy the delights of Kanda Bongo Man in the evening.

Heaven in Ordinary - Day 1

We have built it - people have come...

The site fills up - things are happening...

...and the festival vibe begins.

Greenbelt 07 - arrival

Leave London to head to Cheltenham - site of the wonderful Greenbelt festival to help set up.

London - rain and wind it's like November.

Get to the other side of Swindon and the weather breaks - things definitely looking up.

Gradually the site is built - the countdown begins.

Website of the week - #51

Time for a gratuitous plug.

If you build it, they will come.

Up 'n' under

Still not sure about summer time rugby league. Today's match - between Harlequins and Wigan - ended in a draw with both teams as inept as other, both playing flat and giving up the ball up too often. Their performances were matched by an incredibly poor refereeing display - the only saving grace was he was equally poor to both teams.

Mind you, with the current weather I'm not sure this match counted as 'summer' rugby league - the floodlights were even on for the second half such was the gloom.

At the third stroke, the time will be...

Currently some work going on at Big Ben - means there is a disagreement on the current time.

Website of the week - #50

The average age for a male to get married in the UK is 36.2- finally I'm above average!

However, some people who have married must have needed to give the wording to their wedding invitations some thought.

Go into the light

To the Antony Gormley Blind Light exhibition at the Hayward.

Going in to the cloud filled box is a strange experience - you really can't see much in front of you and stumble around hoping to find the way out. The Event Horizon installation - lots of life size casts of the artist on top of various buildings across central London - is also intruging, and quite beautiful on such a pleasant evening weather.

However, I've got mixed feelings. The effect of Blind Light is similar to hill walking in low cloud/visibility or being in a really smoked filled room. It's clever, but does it make it 'art'? Similarly, I can't help but think that if an art student submitted it or Event Horizon for their final degree show...

Nonetheless, worth a look.

We have lift-off

Earlier today the time and date read....

11:10 09/08/07

...carry on down and soon we get to 'Thunderbirds are go!" territory.

Website of the week - #49

Forget "hot or not?" Now you can Rate my Turban.

Down by the river

Spent a pleasant few hours enjoying the sun in Stratford upon Avon. Amongst the shops, restaurants and tourists it's hard to imagine that just a couple of weeks ago much of it was under water.

The evening is spent with friends watching more films than is strictly necessary. During The Shawshank Redemption someone comments, "this is a geat film - an accountant is the hero."

No comment.

The Simpsons Movie

Homer falls in love with a pig and dumps its 'leavings' in the local lake causing an environmental disaster leading to Springfield being sealed in a glass dome.

Is the movie worth the wait? Yes... and no.

It's funny, with plenty of the usual Simpsons sharpness, the naked Bart skateboarding scene is cleverly done, and there are knowing references to other episodes, e.g. jumping the Springfield gorge. But...

...OK to be picky - there is not enough of some characters - Apu and Patty & Selma immediately spring to mind - I'd have loved another celebrity cameo other than Tom Hanks, and the love interest storyline for Lisa is just annoying. Why introduce a new character yet neglect other long established ones?

But I'm being picky, very picky. There are plenty of great moments and wicked lines, there is enough of Flan-diddly-anders, and it's the funniest comedy of the year. Enjoy.

Website of the week - #48

Find out your fairy name.

Timing

Decide to take the empty bottles I've accumulated over the past few weeks to the recycling centre. Bump in to a neighbour on the stairs whose heard the impressive clinking of bottles.

"Someone's had a good night'" he quips.

What do I say... Really can't be bothered to explain this has taken me a couple of months to hoard.

"I know. It's not good - I need to phone my sponsor."

By the seaside

Decide to make to the most of the weather. Get the roof bars out of the garage, strap the bike to the car and head to the south car for a day of cycling and pottering along the coast near Brighton.

I quite like Brighton - the coast, the seaside, the raffish charm of the place. Like much of Britain it looks great in some sunshine. But Brighton also has an edge - perhaps best epitomised by the truncated wreck of the old West Pier.

Perhaps that's why I like it.

Shut Up and Sing

Back at the start of their 2003 tour the Dixie Chicks lead singer, Natalie Maines, made a comment that they "were ashamed the President comes from Texas", their home state. Little did they know what would ensue.

Despite being one of the biggest bands in country music history, the Dixie Chicks have never had the huge affection of country music fans. Their comments at a west London gig unleased redneck craziness and a country radio boycott. This film follows those events, cutting between the reaction in 2003 and the recording their next album in 2005.

It's a fascinating film highlighting issues around freedom of speech and provides an insight into the challenges of combining life on the road, recording an album, and making time for your family. Two people in particular come across well - Natalie Maines, the lead singer, comes across as passionate and with a nice sense of humour, and their manager, Simon Renshaw, is excellent, especially in the face of death threats and Senate hearing.

If you're a fan (and I admit I have been for the best part of the last decade) the film fleshes out what you long suspected - the Chicks are outspoken, quirky and great musicians. If you're not a fan you may not enjoy it as much, but it's worth a watch.

Ultimately the Chicks were vindicated both politically and, importantly, musically. Their next album - the Rick Rubin produced Taking the Long Way - is a sublime album and the Dixie Chicks best by far. It won 4 Grammy awards, including Album of the Year and Record of the Year. It has yet to receive a single Country Music Association Award nomination.

Website of the week - #47

And you thought the dress you saw at that wedding last week was hideous - check some of these.

Singing the in the rain??

Not sure how it's been for you but spent a couple of hours today helping to mop out the head of department's office and move him to another office due to flooding.

I'm sure others have had it far, far worse...

... but we're on the 6th floor...

Wizard and Chips

Whilst I'm not a huge Potter fan - I will not be queuing up outside a bookstore at 12:01am on Saturday morning dressed as a wizard - I have read the books. I'm intriged by the new book. Is it really final one or will 'Harry Potter - The University Years' follow soon? Will there be a happy ending or will the darkness of the recent books continue?

You have to hand it to JK Rowling - it's a brave decision to end the series. If it were you how would you do it? Happy ever after with Harry heading off in to the sunset with Ginny? Or sad ending killing the whole thing off in a final battle where everyone dies and Voldemort wins?

Rowling has said that 2 characters will die - my money's on Mr & Mrs Weasley - but what else...

...is Snape really good or evil...

...will Ron and Hermione finally get it together... or is Harry and Luna the real love story...

...am I showing way too much interest and knowledge...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Finally a decent sequel this summer!

The 766 page book has been squeezed in to a 2 hour 15 min movie so it cracks along at a decent place, and if you've not read the book you may struggle with the plot, but the film is none the worse for that.

Good news is Radcliffe can act, Grint has stopped his mugging and gurning to the camera, and Helena Bonham Carter is suitably loopy in a supporting role. Imelda Stauton is superb playing Delores Umbridge - the stooge sent in to run Hogwarts and replace Dumbledore - as a sort of Stepford wife.

Bad news is the role of Hermione seems to be descending in to some sub Jane Austen type secondary character - all whining and simpering. It's a real pity as, in the books, Hermione is a great young female character who is intelligent, has depth and strength, and possesses an underlying steely determination - much of which seems to have been written out in this particular film. It must be a wonderful role for a young actress to play - completely different to the Vikki Pollard/Catherine Tate characters that seem to pervade the media - that I really hope it returns to what it should be in the next film.

If Potter has passed you by this film won't change your mind. If you're a Potter fan then you can't wait until 12:01am this Saturday.

Website of the week - #46

Poptastic mate!

Say "Cheese"

To the current exhibition at Tate Britain - How we are: Photographing Britain.

It's an excellent photography exhibition covering Britain since 1840. Wonderful images from men wearing antlers in an amateur dramatic ensemble in Victorian times, to post war Picture Post photos, right up to the modern day, the wholly exhibition is fascinating and enthralling.

One of the best things the Tate has shown in recent years - I'll be returning and I heartily recommend it.

Die Hard 4.0

Various geeks have sold code to baddies who use IT systems to cause chaos to nick a load of data and money. The baddies seek to cover their tracks by killing the geeks. Bruce is sent to pick up one of the geeks and as he is there, the baddies arrive to kill said geek. Once again Bruce is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It's a popcorn movie - but it can't decide which type of popcorn movie - mismatched 'buddie' film, chase film, thriller, crime, or an all out action film. It's a pity as the set up and initial plot is fine. Willis and Justin Long - who was excellent in the much underrated and mis-scheduled TV series Ed - make a good light comedy pairing. But after about an hour it descends into ever more absurd chase sequences which then just ruin what could have a been a decent action flick - just wait until the fighter plane appears... I mean, really...

Even a 'Simon Pegg in Mission Impossible 3' style cameo from Kevin Smith (aka Silent Bob) seems a little forced. There is a decent action film in here somewhere - but like many of the sequels this year, you can't help thinking the world would have been better off if they'd just not bothered.

Website of the week - #45

All together now - "spider pig, spider pig."

The trailers look good, anticipation is high, so hopefully this will deliver.

The Grand Depart - part deux

The sun is shining and London has rarely looked better. The crowds are massive and the Prologue of the Tour de France is about to begin...

I arrived at Hyde Park just after midday. The publicity caravan is not due to go round the course for a couple of hours and the final rider won't be here until after 6pm, yet already people are camped out for the best views by the barriers. If nothing else you have admire their bladder control.

I look at the map, get my bearings and go for a wander to spy out where there might be decent viewing spaces and where the big screens are. Despite there being thousands here already, within 1omins I bump into someone I know - small world.

When the Tour de France was last in the UK in 1994 I went and saw both days - Chris Boardman lost the maillot jaune just before coming to England and, bizarrely, Sean Yates winning it on the day it returned to France - so I sort of know what to expect. However, this is the Prologue - a short curtain-raising time-trial where 189 riders will set off at one minute intervals - and it's in central London so things are slightly different.

I continue my wander, buy my t-shirt and then decide on my tatics. As it comes to the 3pm start time I'm watching the big screen near Wellington Arch with thousands of others. The screen shows the clock at the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben chimes and the first rider is off - to a huge cheer. The big screen follows his progress around the course and as he aproaches a huge cheer goes up.

And so I spend the rest of the day watching the race - either on the big screens or up close. Each rider is cheered on their way, Bradley Wiggins and David Millar getting huge encouragement, and a throughly enjoyable day is had. I even manage to get some photos with the cyclists in them - rather than the usual one of a blank section of road and people looking to where the cyclist now was.

Unfortunately the fairy tale ending of local boy Wiggins winning doesn't happen - he is creditable fourth. As the last few finish it is a tight race and the crowd at the big screen are shouting and cheering as the winner, Swiss rider Cancellara, is the only rider to complete the course in under 9 minutes. These boys can motor.

A fantastic day - hope it returns soon.