Sounds like a bad 1950s sub-Ealing comedy film title - it would probably star Bernard Cribbins, Lionel Jeffries and Beryl Reid having to hide out in a convent as nuns with 'hilarious' consequences.
Anyway, driving back from North Devon I reflected on why I live where I do. 10 months ago I was living in Surrey Quays - the cheap bit of docklands - really Bermondsey with aspirations. I shared a great flat with a great flatmate but knew I didn't want to stay in Surrey Quays; so to move where? It quickly boiled down to either the centre of London or somewhere further out - my bank account made the decision.
So, 7 months ago I escaped to Teddington (virtually rural in London terms) and I've already spotted a few differences between here & Bermondsey;
...there are fewer police signs appealing for witnesses to serious assault, GBH, armed robbery or murder - this is reassuring...
...Teddington is a bit posher - not only does it have a M&S Simply Food, but the local kebab shop puts your doner in Styrofoam box and you get a serviette with a plastic & knife fork...
...people will say 'hello' and not try to mug you...
...in Bermondsey if you saw an 18 year old woman with a 3 year old in a pushchair you weren't sure if they were sisters or mother and daughter - in Teddington the 18 year old is probably the Polish nanny...
...Teddington is very fond of puns in shop names - there is 'Top Gear' (selling motor accessories); 'Kitchen Sync' (selling kitchenware); 'Wok This Way Again' (a chinese takeaway - the 'again' suggests this, scarily, could have a sister shop); and, my favourite, the cigar shop - yes Teddington is the sort of place which has a cigar shop - called 'Hava Havana'...
Will I stay long term? When I moved someone commented that I might miss 'the urban edge' of Bermondsey. Teddington seems 'nice' - a double edged compliment if there ever was one - and I tend to have a sense of unrest. Answer - I don't yet know.
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