My fruitbowl for starters. Don't get me wrong, on high days and holidays I'll dabble with fruit - no fruitist behaviour here. However, the actual percentage of time my fruit bowl is used for its designed purpose is pretty minmal. As Eddie Izzard said, you'll buy fruit, put it in the bowl and just watch it rot - often whilst eating a Mars Bar.
I also own a unicycle....don't ask. Percentage of time used as a unicycle so far....0%. Percentage of time used as some sort of modern art installation....100%. The instructions for its use are;
1. Squeeze the saddle between your legs.
2. Place your foot on the pedal facing the rear. Press your hips against the saddleand quickly place the other leg on the other pedal.
3. Start pedalling immediately.
Mmmh..... I sense an impending and embarassing conversation at A&E attempting to explain a bizarre injury. Don't think the opening phrase "when I was attempting to unicycle..." would elicit much sympathy.
Minor rant - noticed tonight that Tescos are now selling Easter Eggs - must check diary but I thought it was still January.
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