The World Cup is upon us - let's reflect on being English...
Being English is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American Shows on a Japanese TV.
Only in England... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in England... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in England...can 3 days of sun and temperatures of 25C be considered a heatwave...and bring public transport to a standstill.
Only in England... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in England... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in England... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in England...can 3" of snow and temperatures of -1C be considered an arctic blizzard...and bring public transport to a standstill.
Only in England... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in England... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in England... can you have the wettest May for 27 years, and a drought order.
All together, "And did those feet, in ancient time..."
Remember, continental Europeans have sex lives, the English have hot water bottles.
Unfortunately little of the above was orginally written by me - but my, does it get your heart racing....
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