Le Grand Depart

Ever since the opening ceremony for the Commonwealth Games in Manchester contained a parade featuring The Wombles - quite what some parts of the Commonwealth made of that - I'm always intrigued with what the UK offers up for opening ceremonies.

In many respects Le Grand Depart of the Tour de France didn't disappoint. It seemed somewhat ironic that the most French of occasions should be kicked off in Trafalgar Square - where 2 great victories over France have been celebrated, Nelson and the 2012 Olympics. I arrived at 6pm and already the place is packed. After a DJ plays various tunes - including Tour de France by Kraftwerk (natch) - there is a bloke from Leicester giving us a 20 minute talk on the history of the bicycle, complete with old penny-farthings etc. Amazingly the crowd are actually listening in respectful silence rather than organising a lynching.

This is then followed by 'quirky and amusing bicycles' - tall ones, small ones etc - including a *hiliarious* wobbly bike built by a bloke called John. John has clearly spent far too much time alone in his shed and this behaviour should not be encouraged - again the crowd listen in silence and even offer polite applause. I fear this may further encourage John's worrying hobby. Finally, after some bilingual drama with children and the obligatory dance number, our hosts for the evening appear. One is cycle legend Hugh Porter, the other is someone called Kate - I've no idea who she is but assume she's some sort of local TV presenter.

Hugh is in full Alan Partridge mode as he introduces the teams. Each of the Brits get a big cheer - though there are actually more Aussies and Kiwis on the Tour - and the knowledgable crowd also cheers others like Erik Zabel, Robbie McEwen etc.

Tour de France commentary legends Phil Ligget (who seems to be a mutant cross between Elton Welsby and Jim Rosenthal) and Paul Sherwen (who never ages) look on. The evening continues with Lemar doing a set. His opening song?? Queen's I want to ride my bicycle.

Am I the only one really worried what on earth the 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony is going to be like??

For your personal safety??

Things are a little tighter with the current security situation.

I pop out at lunch time - my chicken baguette is felt to perhaps offer a security risk - it has to go through the x-ray machine.

Tell No One

Currently there is little decent screening at your local cinema - unless you like the third slices of various franchises such as Ocean's, Shrek, Spidey or the Depp. However, if you want something different you could do a lot worse than seek out the French film Tell No One.

A husband's wife is murdered, but eight years later he receives messages from the grave (as it were) and so unravels a tight thriller and mystery. Well shot, and with a couple of things to say about corruption in French life and Parisian estates, it's a sort of a French cross between one of the Jason Bourne films and The Fugitive.

Enjoyable as a thriller, well acted - including Kristen Scott Thomas in a French speaking role which seems strange (she's often a upper class Englishwoman) but shouldn't as she has lived in France for several years - there is even the odd moment of comedy to lighten the mood. Overall a thriller, deep down I also found it heartbreakingly romantic.

Definitely worth a look in its own right - even more worth a look now given what else the cinema listings contain.

All change?

A new PM.

A new Cabinet.

Am I the only one with a slight unease that the change of PM has not involved a single election?

Democracy anyone??

Living on a prayer (again)

It's not Glastonbury, but it's raining and I'm with thousands of others watching a famous group performing under canvas.

"Hello London. Welcome to the O2, your brand new home. And by the sound of the crowd in here tonight... who the hell needs Wembley anyway??" Jon, you've got to let it go...

Some how I've once again ended up at a Bon Jovi concert - and this time it really is the opening gig in a new venue - and it's all a bit surreal. The venue is the O2 - the Dome as was. Easy to get to, but a real pain to get back from on a Sunday night as the tube finishes earlier. This has meant a bit of rethink and we drive most of the way, park up and then cycle the rest - surreal moment one, we're going to a big gig by bike...

Cycling on the Thames path we come by the pier for the Dome - there are loads of fans awaiting Bon Jovi's arrival by boat. This is surreal moment two - we are passing by at just the right moment. We dismount, wait 5 minutes with various screaming people and slightly bemused tourists, and Bon Jovi walk past - all jeans and hair.

We queue for ages to pick up our tickets - despite ordering months in advance they haven't arrived in time for the concert and we're not the only ones. What is it with new venues and ticketing? I used to live 2 tube stops from Dome but have never been there - I now feel justified not coming before - there is nothing there as you wait for the concert - the few bars and restaurants are ridiculously over crowded.

Eventually we head in to the arena. After the 'special guests' the arena darkens and on the big screen is Jon Bon Jovi pictured backstage making his way to the arena. The crowd - or at least the females in it - scream. JBJ swaggers - there is no other word for it and I guess if you're as good looking and rich as him why not? He continues to make his way backstage as the steadicam follows him - for a moment I think of a scene from Spinal Tap - and then he appears. The band strike up and go for it.

Bon Jovi will never be hip and I'm not particularly a fan - though I know a few of their songs and some of their newer stuff has a definite nu-country ting and are more my thing. But give them huge credit, they know how to deliver a gig and they give their fans exactly what they want - it's basically a 2 hour singalong. It's good fun.

The O2? The location and wider bar/restaurant facilities are poor - but the actual arena venue is excellent. Well built, it has surprisingly good acoustics for a concert and though there are 20,000 in there, you have a comfortable seat, a good view and are close enough to the band to enjoy it. A welcome addition to London venues - even if it was surreal cycling away from a rock gig.

Website of the week - #44

A noble quest or someone with too much time on their hands?

But is it art?

Driving back from Devon I take the road from Shaftsbury to Salisbury. Just outside Salisbury, cut in the downs, are half a dozen badges of various regiments.

Whilst you can admire their beauty and scale, I tend to wonder why??

Fresh air

Today it's country as opposed to coast.

Website of the week - #43

It's how you say it that's important.

Gold Coast

Manage to dodge the showers that others in the country have had and spend most of the day enjoying the coast.

Slowly beginning to unwind.

Escape

Escaping to North Devon for a couple of days.

In the aisle in Sainsbury's I turn to the person I'm with.

"Am I an alluring moose or a mellow moose?"

"Definitely a mellow moose," comes the response and I make the appropriate purchase.

Not often I think of the words of hymns, but later in the evening the words "how sweet to hold a newborn baby, and feel the pride and joy she gives" come to life.

Website of the week - #42

A proper mirror site.

Ocean's Thirteen

Ocean's 11 was a pretty decent heist movie, Ocean's 12 was better glossed over and ignored, what about Ocean's 13? Well, having resisted the other 'triquels' so far, and working on the basis that it had to better than the second film, I went to have a look.

The story is basic - Ross and Rachel's dad has been doubled crossed by Scarface and has a heart attack. His friends - Dr Ross, Mr Angelina Jolie and Jason Bourne - seek revenge and vow to hit Michael Corleone where it hurts, they will seek to financially ruin the new hotel and casino he is opening.

The good news? Well, it's better than the second one, it's beautiful shot in that style that Steven Soderbergh has made very much his own, and both the leads are good with the light comedy. It's ...... OK.

And that's it. It's about 20 minutes too long, the plot is very slight and, frankly, given the talent on the screen I expect more - a decent storyline for starters. And don't get me started on Don Cheadle's accent - great alumni that he is from the 'Dick Van Dyke School of Authentic Cockney' - mercifully he doesn't have as much screen time as in the first film.

Strangely, Eddie Izzard also has a role - yes I know he was in the earlier ones but I still expect him suddenly to start making mention of jam or cats. However, his character makes a reference to Danny and Rusty being 'the Morecombe & Wise of'. How bizarre... anyone under 30 in the UK would struggle to get that reference, and as Morecombe & Wise famously never broke America I wonder what the viewers in Smallsville, USA make of it??

For me the best bit was overhearing two women in conversation on leaving the cinema. One said, "George Clooney is lovely, but Brad Pitt is looking a bit worn."

Blimey, if that's looking worn...

Ever more obscure

My minor celeb spotting reaches ever higher levels of obscurity.

Brian Woolnough at a tube station.

Yes... I know hardly anyone will know who he is...

No... it wasn't that exciting...

Apparently...

...you're supposed to eat your 5 portions of fruit and veg instead of snacks and KitKats...

...not in addition to...

...*that's* where I've been going wrong...

Bouncy?

Passed Jonathan Edwards in the street on the way home...

The 'Magic' Rectangle

OK, I'm not exactly thrilled with the return of BB.

To me it's all the stranger that the few decent TV programmes there are at the moment - and there are very few - seem to have been banished away to digitial channels, such as Friday Night Lights on ITV4, and What About Brian on E4.

Bizarrely the 'best' night on terrestial TV seems to be Sunday evening. The return of Coast - complete with the lovely Dr Alice Roberts - and a new series called Vanished on C5 seem to offer brief respite and an oasis in a TV desert.

When referees start looking younger

There are few tell-tale signs that you're getting older. I had a few on Saturday....

1. I found myself browsing the shirts in Austin Reed...

2. Was at the local rugby league match and kept thinking.... "summer rugby league, it's just not right..."

3. The opponents were Wigan Warriors. Warriors? No! Just Wigan is fine...

4. A couple of the officials looked about 12 - I wouldn't have served them if I ran a pub...

5. I found myself buying a pair of 3/4 length trousers... I'm sorry, I should know better.

Squeeze me

In a recent email a friend commented that I might get to meet their new 'main squeeze'.

The phrase intrigued me - when did you last hear it used?

And 'main'? Does that mean they have a few 'minor squeezes'??

Zodiac

The weather is rubbish so chance to head to the cinema and catch up with a decent movie. Despite containing the attractions of Ms Dunst and Ms Knightley neither Spiderman 3 nor Pirates 3 appeal - both have had bad reviews and appear to be mindnumbing stuff. Indeed both also appear to be bottom numbing given their running times.

Mind you, the 158mins running time of Zodiac didn't put me off. It's had good reviews and is an interesting account of three different people - a cop, a journalist and a political cartoonist - searching for a serial killer and is based on a true story.

The film is set in San Fransisco in the late 60s and 70s and seems to capture the time well. The three leads are interesting and there is some good character acting from Mark Ruffalo and Jake Gyllenhall. The journalist is played by Robert Downey Jr who these days seems to play a version of Robert Downey Jr regardless of the role - but I find him good to watch no matter how much of a self parody he seems to have become.

Be warned, although it's a 15 certificate a couple of the scenes of the killings are pretty tough going - the sort that makes the whole audience wince. They're not gratuitous, but are realistic. Fortunately these scenes are early on and not frequent and the film settles down.

If you're expecting car chases and a court room finale you'll be disappointed - the ending can only hypothesise who done it as the killer was never brought to trial. However, if you like a good character driven piece, with some nice humor in places, then you'll like Zodiac.

Unlike Pirates and Spider 3 this is definitely worth a look.