Numberwang!

And that's a bad miss!

For a while I've enjoyed That Mitchell and Webb Sound on the radio and so was delighted when That Mitchell and Webb Look lived up to expectation. I particularly like the two snooker commentators. So, as a public service, here are the secret snooker words to Lady in Red, enjoy...

Never seen you looking so shiny as you did tonight,
Never seen your baize so tight,
you were amazing.

Never seen so many players wonder if the long pot is on.
Looking for a little cannon,
a cut as thin as a thong.

And I have never seen such a clearance,
Such a clearance in all the pots in every way,
no more safety play.

Table of reds,
is dancing with me,
cush to cush.

Nothing is wrong,
this big pink is on,
but where’s cue ball gone?

And hardly know,
to play with stun or side?

Never to forget,
this shot to nothing life.

Never to forget,
my table of reds.