Le Grand Depart

Ever since the opening ceremony for the Commonwealth Games in Manchester contained a parade featuring The Wombles - quite what some parts of the Commonwealth made of that - I'm always intrigued with what the UK offers up for opening ceremonies.

In many respects Le Grand Depart of the Tour de France didn't disappoint. It seemed somewhat ironic that the most French of occasions should be kicked off in Trafalgar Square - where 2 great victories over France have been celebrated, Nelson and the 2012 Olympics. I arrived at 6pm and already the place is packed. After a DJ plays various tunes - including Tour de France by Kraftwerk (natch) - there is a bloke from Leicester giving us a 20 minute talk on the history of the bicycle, complete with old penny-farthings etc. Amazingly the crowd are actually listening in respectful silence rather than organising a lynching.

This is then followed by 'quirky and amusing bicycles' - tall ones, small ones etc - including a *hiliarious* wobbly bike built by a bloke called John. John has clearly spent far too much time alone in his shed and this behaviour should not be encouraged - again the crowd listen in silence and even offer polite applause. I fear this may further encourage John's worrying hobby. Finally, after some bilingual drama with children and the obligatory dance number, our hosts for the evening appear. One is cycle legend Hugh Porter, the other is someone called Kate - I've no idea who she is but assume she's some sort of local TV presenter.

Hugh is in full Alan Partridge mode as he introduces the teams. Each of the Brits get a big cheer - though there are actually more Aussies and Kiwis on the Tour - and the knowledgable crowd also cheers others like Erik Zabel, Robbie McEwen etc.

Tour de France commentary legends Phil Ligget (who seems to be a mutant cross between Elton Welsby and Jim Rosenthal) and Paul Sherwen (who never ages) look on. The evening continues with Lemar doing a set. His opening song?? Queen's I want to ride my bicycle.

Am I the only one really worried what on earth the 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony is going to be like??