... we interrupt this service...

Been a hectic few days so apologies for the lack of posting and a website of the week.

Busy with lots going on - some good, some not so good, some fun and some just strange.

Will hope to catch up with postings soon.

Thank goodness for the pink shirt...

Picked up a copy of Red Magazine on the way home. Tempting though the "designer wash and make up bag set by allegra hicks" was, I can't say I'm a regular reader. Purchase was because the wedding I went to back in March, one which I thoroughly enjoyed(see hear), is featured on page 148 in "How many people does it take to say I do?"

Foolishly I thought it was 5 - bride, groom, registrar/minister and 2 witnesses. Thankfully the magazine has corrected my foolishness.

Can't help wondering how I managed to end up at a wedding featured in a glossy mag...

Long MOT, tidy, FSH??

It's been a busy and slightly strange week - some good, some bad. Has included appraisal time at work. Always tricky. Mine included phrases like 'solid', 'reliable', 'provides good support'. All good, but I couldn't help thinking that I sounded like a second hand Volvo...
Been mulling over things. On Thursday walking to work I looked at the view - perhaps I've got some stuff right.

...look away now...

On the train last night;

"This is the 21:12 to Shepperton, calling at ............ and Shepperton. For those who are interested in the football the current score is Sweden 1, England 1."

This was by far the most informative train annoucement I have ever encountered.

Website of the week - #6

Are you with the right person?

Is it really an unrequited crush you have or is it meant to be?

Would you be better off with self love?

Want to know if that cute little thing in the marketing department, who you have your eye on, is the one for you?

The answer is a just click away - The Love Calculator

Remember, you can't deny the Love Calculator.

Ssshhhakespeare....

Last night was one of those evenings when you appreciate and make the most of where you live. On a beautiful evening The Open Air Theatre in Regents Park is a wonderful place to be - picnic with friends beforehand, excellent production of Taming of the Shrew and a drink in the al fresco bar on a balmy night afterwards - wonderful.

Taming of the Shrew intrigued me. It's a funny play and the production was excellent - but I'm not sure about its 'gender dynamics'. The plot in nutshell seems to be Petruchio, suffering after the death of his father decides to marry Katherina, the Shrew - a woman for which the description 'feisty' is a dramatic understatement. Claiming to act out from love he denies her food and sleep - in effect wearing her down thus taming her. Not sure it's a great feminist work! It's a very un-PC power dynamic and, to certain extent, made me a little uneasy.

It reminded me a little of Secretary - a film I liked but which also made me uneasy. Is it, and Shrew, a story of misogyny or of empowerment, albeit one with a strange power dynamic? I guess ultimately both are the story of a loving relationship which others may find strange, but which works for those involved.

Alternatively...
...I could be over analysing a play/film...
...I actually prefer the feisty nature of the pre-tamed shrew...
...I'm just too nice - perhaps I need this?

Two Random Things

...this week I've also learnt I'm useless at driving when wearing flipflops...

...I can't get bloody Bon Jovi songs out of my head... and therein lies madness...

(Yet another) Confession

The blog as confessional. I have an addiction.

I can't explain how it started. At first I just tried it just the once. I dabbled - well some friends were doing it and said why not give it a try. What harm would it do?

Before I knew it I was hooked. Sometimes I've been doing it as many as 3 times a week. Sometimes I'm strong and can resist the temptation, but soon it draws me back - like the siren call of the mermaid drawing me to the rocks.

My name is Smittyonline and I'm addicted to - The Mothers Union Shop.

I'm sure there are several explanations...
...perhaps I want to be mothered...
...perhaps my biological clock is ticking...
...perhaps I buy a lot of greetings cards and this is a good shop just 100m from my office...

I don't think 'an intervention' is yet needed. Yesterday I even felt I could escape from its bondage - I went to buy a card for my Grandma's birthday and it had a very poor selection, none with 'Grandma' written on. This is the first time it had failed me - perhaps the scales are falling from my eyes. But....

...on the way out I saw a card. It said "Behind every successful man...... is a surprised woman."

You see - it lures you back in....

Great Movie Dialogue...

Dialogue from a movie I've a soft spot for (don't know why) which I caught again on TV the other day...

Older blue collar bar owning brother: "Come on, it's ice skating.."

Younger blue collar ex-ice hockey playing brother: "And I like it!"

Lovely man that Bill Gates

Just once in a while you realise why computers and spreadsheets were invented.

World Cup Excel Download

Enjoy.

Wot I 'ave learnt

In the past couple of days I've learnt/discovered...

...I'm not very good at writing comedy sketches - this I already suspected...
...my list of contacts is not very broad - this I already guessed...
...I'm pretty crap at flirting - this I already knew...

... comedy homework - and there's a phrase I thought I'd rarely use - the other week was to come up with a new, fresh and innovative idea for a sketch show format... in a week... on a side of A4...

My initial thought was "If I could do that I wouldn't be on this course in the first place."

Unfair??

Oooh....get you...

Yesterday had a regularly monthly evening meeting. Afterwards, do I go the pub? Want to but been a busy couple of weeks, am tired and slightly grumpy. Week ahead also busy - decide not and quickly head off. Disappointed as would like to catch up with some people - also annoying as in a couple of weeks know things should be less busy - all about timing.

Get to the train station. Trains are up the spout - great, sod's law. Find one going in the vague direction - means a bus for the last couple of miles. Settle down with a book. A bloke starts giving a young woman some grief about putting her feet on the seats, then quietens down. Few minutes later he's off again. She give some back chat about if that's all he's worried about he lives a sad life. An exasperated voice pipes up, "Oh shut up, both of you."

Not sure who is more surprised them or me - for it was I. Usually I'm very British and just shake me head and tut a bit - not sure why this time I spoke out. Even more surprisingly they both shut up - plus I got a double seat to myself...

All very strange...

Website of the week - #5

For some reason I feel drawn to this.

F**k Wembley

"...so this was supposed to be the first date, but is the second....was supposed to be at Wembley, but is at Milton Keynes...thank you so much for being here...just goes to show you don't need an arch to have a good time...", said Jon Bon Jovi. When the 'F**k Wembley' sign held up by a fan appeared on the big screen it got a massive cheer - venue was unimportant, they were here to have fun. What had I let myself in for??

Answer - a really good day. A day spent with friends in glorious weather with a good concert. Support was 'the best unsigned band in England' (who were OK) and Nickelback - who were good and I even recognised one of their songs. Then came Bon Jovi...

It's never been trendy to like Bon Jovi - easy to sneer at them and their big hair. But is it fair? Yes their songs are fairly simple, but are they really that different from Springstein, John Mellencamp or Tom Petty??? What you get is a great show - they played for over 2 & half hours belting out all their classics and the crowd sang along. You are surprised how many of their songs you actually know - yes I even joined in on Living on a Prayer - it's difficult not to!

Does this mean now I'm a fan? Not especially - I still think his finest work was probably in Ally McBeal - and I'm not going to buy their CDs. But you have to admire that they've been around over 20 years, sell out their gigs (to a surprisingly young crowd) and still deliver. They come across as a group of nice guys who enjoy playing music turned all the way up to 11 and can work a crowd. Their fans love them and are going to have a blast and a mass singalong.

They may never be cutting edge or trendy - but they are hard to dislike.

Going out for an English

The World Cup is upon us - let's reflect on being English...

Being English is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American Shows on a Japanese TV.

Only in England... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in England... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in England...can 3 days of sun and temperatures of 25C be considered a heatwave...and bring public transport to a standstill.

Only in England... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in England... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in England... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in England...can 3" of snow and temperatures of -1C be considered an arctic blizzard...and bring public transport to a standstill.

Only in England... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in England... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in England... can you have the wettest May for 27 years, and a drought order.

All together, "And did those feet, in ancient time..."

Remember, continental Europeans have sex lives, the English have hot water bottles.

Unfortunately little of the above was orginally written by me - but my, does it get your heart racing....

Website of the week - #4

Want to know more about your inner self?

Not convinced by the Belbin team roles or the Myers-Brigg test?

Discover the real you - take the Muppets Personality Test!

Spare ticket syndrome strikes again.

I once again fulfilled my role as the go to guy if you have a spare ticket - I seem to be a one person real-life lastminute.com. You do get to see fairly random events when struck by spare ticket syndrome and yesterday I - along with seemingly most of the Aussie, Kiwi, Springbok, Fijian and Kenyan population of west London - ended up at Twickenham for day 1 of the IRB London 7s.

Highlight was Kenya beating Australia, but this just riled up the Aussies who took revenge by beating England in the final game of day one...

A ... of ...

Read something where the writer referred to 'a sponge of wine hacks.' I love the idea of a sponge as a collective noun. Got me thinking of some...

...a bore of accountants...
...an angst of writers...
...a tradegy of mime artists...

Brief but beautiful...

How did the party go in Portman Square?
I cannot tell you; Juliet was not there.

And how did Lady Gaster's party go?
Juliet was next me and I do not know.

Juliet - Hilaire Belloc